let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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