Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
