Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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