I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
