I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
