I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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