After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
