Sober January is a disaster.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
