Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
