on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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