He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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