ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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