I only kidnapped one of them. chill
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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