This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I AM VODKA MAN
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Randomize
