I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize