Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Soap is not a condiment
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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