I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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