So drunk, too bad you don't want this
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
