My hand turned me down
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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