i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
