i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize