Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
be right there i have to get my cape
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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