plz talk dirty to me
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
