You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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