The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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