well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize