Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
