he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
