Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
