god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
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I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
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I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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