nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize