ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
