Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
