dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
whose parrot is this?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
