is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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