D3 body, D1 cock
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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