No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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