yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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