He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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