I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
