Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
