now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
