was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
