yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
