He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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