Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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