two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
