I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
