I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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