i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
