cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize