how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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