Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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