Nicole vs. Life
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
