my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
