So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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